Beccaning Call

What in the world is wrong with people!!!

elastictorch: SHIT
elastictorch: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/evg/225139206.html
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elastictorch: oh shit, it got taken off in the time it took me to send you the link
elastictorch:

Hello, I am a television producer who values theatrical expression as a way of teaching a lesson. My child is almost seven years old now and I still can't get him to understand the importance of a healthy diet. So I want to gather a team of actors together to dress like human sized unhealthy food (pieces of pizza, fried chicken legs, cupcakes, and probably malamars, he loves malamars) and hide in the woods and scare him. His mother, my ex-wife Barbara, and he are going on a hike this weekend in Topanga canyon and I need you to dress like his favorite foods and really frighten him. I don't want this to be a game. I need you to be so upsetting that he never wants to eat pizza again. Tell him things no child should hear. Use your long nails to confuse him and lead him astray. Hit him with pepperoni. It is acceptable, nay preferred, that you scare Barbara as well. I will need you to bring me either a lock of the child's hair or a recording of his screams to let me know that you have accomplished your goal. Actors that have their own pepperoni pizza costume prefered.

posted by Becca @ 11:23 PM